i found out that my aunt who lives with me, as some of you will know as Auntie Maisie, has been diagnosed with cancer.tommorow will be when she goes for a biopsy. im not very clear on details.mom doesnt explain very well...

i thought of jac telling me about how she gets a little claustrophobic and i actually get agoraphobic.i dont like wide spaces. sure enough, i thought of this when i went to the library's 5th floor loo and i chose the squeezy, door-opens-in-your-face type stall rather than the large handicapped one. (there were only 2 stalls)thats when i thought of this entry incidentally.hahaha. but anyway,my interpretation is that i dont like the unknown. i dont like thinking there may be something lurking in a corner waiting to kidnap/take/eat/hurt me.i dont like that it is so empty and i am alone, vunerable. i dont like that i cannot feel 2 walls at any one time by stretching out both arms. i prefer things small, enclosed, tight, it may even be uncomfortable, but i'll know that theres nothing in that space that i have to worry about. i know i am safe.